


Ten…

by Sevenwildwaysup



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas, M/M, Romance, Ten…
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 04:25:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2215764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sevenwildwaysup/pseuds/Sevenwildwaysup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story Summary: How much life can change in Ten Minutes, Ten Hours, Ten Days, and Ten Years…</p><p>Story Sub-plot:  Countdown to the Best Christmas Ever…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One - Ten Years After…

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter Summary: Brian worries when he gets home and Justin is missing…

Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick…  
Title: Ten…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 2389  
Rating: NC17  
Beta Queen: bigj52

Story Summary: How much life can change in Ten Minutes, Ten Hours, Ten Days, and Ten Years…  
Story Sub-plot: Countdown to the Best Christmas Ever…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…  
xmas card

Chapter Summary: Brian worries when he gets home and Justin is missing…

 

Part One - Ten Years After…

Justin’s POV

December 10th

“Hi! I just got your Christmas card. That is so Kinneyesque.”

“Hey Daph, come on in. You know I picked them out. Right?”

“Well yeah… I can’t imagine Brian selecting Christmas cards. You probably had to forge his signature too.”

“Being married has its privileges.”

“What’s up?”

“I’m just starting to prep for dinner.”

“Dinner? Dinner isn’t for like ten hours.”

“Yeah I know, but I’m making this new recipe with ten cloves of garlic. It’s one of those clay pot chicken dishes that cooks really slow all day. I’m mincing the garlic and pulling the skin back and spreading the garlic paste of olive oil and fresh rosemary under it.”

“It sounds yummy.”

“It sears into the skin and the breast meat. It’s kind of like marinating, only more intense. It should be basically falling off the bones and really juicy. Yet the skin is really crisp and garlicky on the top.” 

~~~~

Justin’s POV

The first sensation was a huge rush of air or wind that pushed me forward just a bit before the impact. I heard the tires squealing, and the sound of metal scraping. Yet I felt like I was floating.

Everything is in slow motion and it’s all distorted. Like rippling waves across the water, or maybe like sound waves radiating out from a sonic boom. I was once in a small earthquake when I was working on Rage. It was at night and I was sleeping. It felt like someone shook the blankets, like I was riding the surf. It was kind of fun feeling the rush of the waves through my body.

Did I just see a fish swim by?

I feel kind of giddy, like I took E or something. I can’t remember what I was just doing, and I’m not sure where I am. It’s dark, yet there’s a bright light around me and in the distance I can see flashing lights. But I can’t hear the music. I have the sensation of Brian holding me tight to his chest from behind, but it’s more than that. I can’t move. I feel like I’m restrained.

I feel a little dizzy and lightheaded, yet I can’t really feel anything. Did I really just see another fish swim by?

I’m confused. What’s going on? The lights keep flashing in the distance but it’s like time is suspended. Are they strobe lights? Am I dancing? Why isn’t Brian here? I feel so all alone. I’m cold. I think I’m cold… But then again I can’t really feel anything.

~~~~

Brian’s POV

The taxi dropped me off out front from the airport. I come into the loft and it smells great. I’m starving. I set my suitcase down and call his name. Silence… Yet there’s several pots on the stove, turned down as low as possible, and that clay pot thing he had to have, in the oven. I just talked to him. I told him I would be home in ten minutes…

I decide to set the table and surprise him. I even use the good dishes and silver, complete with silver candlesticks. Where is he? I thought for sure he would be back by now. I’ve been home forty-five minutes, and I’m starting to worry. I feel my chest tighten when the phone rings.

I’m a little apprehensive but I answer it.

“Is this Mr. Brian Kinney? I have you listed as the emergency contact for a Justin Taylor-Kinney is that correct?”

“Yes.” I hear my own voice crack, and I can’t breathe.

Now there’s a knock on the door, and Michael slides it open. He and Ben enter. I’m just holding the phone out. I can’t talk. I fall into Michael’s arms while Ben talks with the police.

Michael’s crying and says, “I just saw them pull the Vette out of the river. I was so scared it was you, not that it’s any better this way… I’m so sorry…”

Ben breaks in and says, “We have to go now. I just talked with the police, and they’re taking him to the hospital. He’s unconscious.”

I feel Michael’s hand on my shoulder as I walk past the table, all set for our first anniversary. Just feeling the warmth of his touch grounds me, slightly. He helps me into my coat, and turns off the dishes on the stove. Then he locks up the loft. I feel lost, scared, nervous, and sick to my stomach. And I wish I was still that Brian that didn’t feel anything… Nothing at all… But I’m not, I’m Brian Fucking Taylor-Kinney.

~~~~

Justin’s POV

I’m swinging and swaying to the music. I feel like I’m in some old Fred Astaire movie in some ballroom, spinning and dipping. I can see little twinkly lights reflecting off the walls. Brian is holding me real close and I feel like Cinderella… He’s wearing a tuxedo. I’ve never seen him in a tuxedo before, not even for our wedding.

His shirt is a deep burgundy color, similar to the red fluid ribbons spinning near my head and dissipating, kind of like watercolors… Someone is slowly swimming towards me… He looks like a scuba diver. I find this very humorous because there’s no place to scuba dive in Pittsburgh, yet he seems to be wearing a mask and fins as well as the suit. I think he wants to dance with me? We must be at a costume party. Oh, I love that flashlight helmety thing.

~~~~

Brian’s POV

It’s funny what your mind does under stress. I’m sitting in the waiting room, waiting… Surrounded by all my family. The TV is playing in the background, but no one is paying attention. The ten o’clock news is on and I see the footage of them pulling the Vette out of the river.

I know I should be freaked because it’s totally smashed, and it’s hard to believe that anyone could have survived in that car. Note to self - no more sports cars. I’m buying both Justin and me new Jeeps in the morning, mine black, his red. My mind drifts back to his Christmas present last year; he bought me vanity plates for the Vette. He said it was a take-off on our new name, but anyone seeing me in my car got the message it said: TAY-KIN. He’s such a brat. God, I love him.

It’s funny because you’d think I’d be queening out about the Vette. But it seems so irrelevant at the moment. I just wish the fucking doctor would come back out and tell us what’s going on. No one’s been out since they first brought him in. 

The police said that he had been submerged for only ten minutes, due to the fact that it happened practically in front of the fire department. The doctors said he was experiencing hypothermia, and that his body was in shock from the frigid waters.

Then they told me that his head hit the windshield, but because of the freezing waters he had relatively little swelling around his brain. They needed to bring his body temperature back up to normal very slowly. Otherwise there could be tissue, or organ damage or deterioration. He tells me that’s it’s a relatively new procedure where they use a dialysis machine to warm and re-circulate the blood. It should take about ten hours.

~~~~

Justin’s POV

Scuba boy is getting closer now; he looks so serious, not like he’s going to hit on me or anything. He looks determined. I’m not getting a good vibe from this guy. He’s mumbling something I can’t understand… And then I see it - a large hunting knife, and he’s coming at me. Oh my God, Oh my God, he’s going to kill me… More fish… Panic… Darkness…

~~~~

Brian’s POV

Carl comes into the waiting room at Allegheny General, sits down next to me and tells me that Justin was hit by a drunk driver. Some kid took his parents’ SUV, who didn’t know how to drive in the snow and ice… He’s under age… A lethal combination - he died on impact.

I want to be angry and hurt someone. But God I was a pretty wild teenager. I’ve driven drunk on more than one occasion. I can’t imagine how I would feel if I came home to find out Gus had made similar poor choices and I’d lost him. So as angry as I want to be, I’m old enough to realize that this really is an accident. A tragic accident.

Dr. Fleming approaches us and asks if he can talk with me separately. I look up and realize that our little group has expanded, so I leave the ten little Indians and follow the doctor to his office. 

Deb, Michael, Ben, Emmett, Ted, Mel, Lindsay Daphne, Jen and Molly all look up with somber faces. They try and send all their strength to me as I walk behind the dear doctor into the abyss.

Dr. Fleming explains that Justin hit his head pretty bad. But with it being December the river water is almost freezing, that he experienced what you might think of as suspended animation. Everything starts functioning very slowly; his body basically shut down as the frozen water preserved his tissues and actually protected him. Of course he’s in shock and he’s received some other minor gashes and scrapes, as well as a broken left arm. He’s responding well to the warming process, and that he’s about halfway through.

He explains that once he is stabilized, and he seems to be responding well to the treatment, they’ll watch for signs of swelling in his brain. They know that it was very likely that he would experience some swelling from the previous trauma he’s suffered.

He explains that they have drilled several small holes to help relieve some of the pressure, but it was most likely that he will need surgery. He also tells me that they won’t be able to do any surgical procedures until he’s completed his dialysis, and is stabilized. Hopefully tomorrow afternoon.

Of course I have to ask if I can see him. I have to see him. I’m so scared that I will never see him again. Dr. Fleming hesitates at first but then he sees the look in my eyes, and says, “Only you and just for ten minutes at a time… That means ten minutes once an hour… I don’t want him under any stress.”

~~~~

Michael’s POV

Tonight started out so easy. Ben came and picked me up from Red Cape to go Christmas shopping for Hunter and JR. There was so much more traffic than normal then we heard that the bridge at Tremont and Tenth Avenue was closed because some asshole drove their car off the bridge and into the river.

We decided to stop at the diner for supper and wait for the traffic to clear. That’s when Todd came running in saying that it was Brian’s Vette that went into the river. That there was a dive team already in the water. Kiki immediately turned on the small TV in the corner and all the fags were speechless as we watch them pull the Vette out of the water. On the screen you could see all the police cars, ambulances and fire trucks parked haphazardly on the bridge. But you could hear their sirens like they were parked out front.

Ben placed his arms around Michael to give him the support that he knows his husband will need. Michael leans back into Ben’s embrace closing his eyes, as his tears swell behind his lids. Ben gently whispers, “We need to go find Justin. He shouldn’t be alone when he hears this.”

Michael nods and starts to leave the diner which is now so crowded beyond capacity that it’s a fire hazard itself. But no one’s eating, or even talking. There’s just a lot a sniffling and crying. Everyone’s in shock…

As we pass Woody’s we notice that it’s more of the same, except everyone’s drinking, crying and in shock. Ben says we might as well walk, it will be faster than trying to get through all this traffic.

Ben started to knock on the loft door, but I just reached up and pulled the door open and I’m shocked. Brian is standing by his desk, holding the phone, just shaking his head and crying. Ben takes the phone, and I take Brian into my arms, and tell him it’s ok to cry. We’re both crying now.

My emotions are all over the place. I feel guilty that I’m relieved. No, actually happy that Brian’s alright. Well, as alright as you can be when you learn that your husband... God, I don’t even know.

But I also feel so bad because the alternative isn’t really any better. I know I’ve given him a lot of shit over the years. But our relationship, no, friendship has really grown over the last ten years, and I’m truly happy for him and Brian. Hell, he did what no other man was ever capable of doing - taming the shrew (stud) of Liberty of Avenue.

I’m brought out of my thoughts by someone saying that they didn’t even have airbags back then. The Vette is like forty years old. I wish they’d just stop playing that footage on the news. It’s just a hunter green twisted hunk of metal and the tan convertible roof is sprung open and shredded. But the windshield is still in place, just smashed into a million cracks and pieces with a small hole about three inches wide, centered in front of the driver’s seat. The worst part is that you can still see tufts of his blond hair stuck into all the splintered glass. I can’t help my tears as they spring back to life, as I get up and turn off the TV.

~~~~

The answering machine at the loft beeps with a message waiting. Mr. Taylor-Kinney, it’s Margie from Newman’s Florist. I waited for you last night to come pick up your special order. But then there was that accident on the bridge… Anyways, I still have your golden gardenias if you want to come pick them up.

TBC...


	2. Part Two - Ten Days Later…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian patiently waits at Justin’s bedside…

Ten…Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick…  
Title: Ten…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 1699  
Rating: NC17  
Beta Queen: bigj52

Story Summary: How much life can change in Ten Minutes, Ten Hours, Ten Days, and Ten Years…  
Story Sub-plot: Countdown to the Best Christmas Ever…

 

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

 

Chapter Summary: Brian patiently waits at Justin’s bedside…

Part Two - Ten Days Later…

Brian was fussing with watering the flowers in Justin’s room; he had picked up the special order at Newman’s. Justin had ordered several small pots of Golden Gardenias - a type of star jasmine that grow in the tropics with a sweet orange aroma.

He had Justin moved to a private room, and brought sheets and a duvet that matched the loft’s as well as big pillows that he loved so much to help him feel like he’s at home. There were a couple of Justin’s paintings hung on the walls, and that silly fountain that Justin swore helped him relax…

It was amazing what you could persuade someone to do with the correct amount of donations… Brian has basically set up a small desk space next to Justin’s bed. He pushes the second bed next to Justin’s when he sleeps so he can still reach out and feel the touch of his skin next to his… he even found a old box of Justin’s cd’s that he made with Daphne in high school that he plays softly in the background…

The hospital staff had really tolerated just about everything up until they found that Brian had actually set up several small open cans of paint and turpentine on the tray next to Justin’s bed. They couldn’t understand that Brian was trying to communicate with Justin on every possible level… Sound… Smell… And touch…

So after they removed the obnoxious-smelling chemicals from Justin’s room, Brian gets up and locks the door after them… He’s kind of pissed. He thought that was a great idea… He’s running out of ideas… He even considered tickling him with his own paint brushes.

The doctors say Justin’s doing very well. He’s recovering nicely from his injuries, and his brain activity is unlike anything they’ve seen before. Unlike Terri Schiavo he’s definitely not brain dead. His brain is working overtime, but the doctors say he should be coming out of it soon, unless he’s just having too good a time playing in his head.

Justin had hit his head in the exact same place that he was hit by Chris Hobbs. When the swelling started again the doctors scheduled him for surgery. Then while relieving the pressure on his brain, they noticed a very tiny wood splinter working its way out of his cortex on its own.

It was amazing that a micro size splinter could put enough pressure on one brain to suppress so many memories. It was surprising that removing such a miniscule fiber could release so many trapped memories from ten years earlier.

Brian’s pissed that they shut down his paint intervention. He’s sitting on the bed next to him as he notices Justin’s huge sunshine smile, but his eyes are still closed. He’s still sleeping… He can’t help but run his fingers through his hair on the side of his head, and he reaches up and kisses Sleeping Beauty on the lips… No response…

It kills Brian a little inside. He really hoped that something would have helped pull Justin out of his coma. He leans over him, still running his hand through his golden locks when he notices Sunshine’s growing erection through the duvet.

Brian takes that as an invitation and decides that it really isn’t molesting him, since he is his dear sweet husband, and if they were at home he would think nothing of trying to waking him up this way. Besides, it’s been ten days without touching his beautiful porcelain skin.

He stands and turns off the lights in the room, only leaving on the tiny Christmas tree that Daphne insisted she put up. It’s only about eighteen inches tall but it’s real, and smells like Christmas, so what the hell.

_Well the weather outside is frightening, and the fire is so inviting… So there’s only one place to go… Let it snow… Let it snow… Let it snow…_

Brian climbs under the duvet until he reaches his Christmas bonus. He slowly places soft delicate kisses on the inside of both his thighs. Then he nuzzles his face into his soft blond little bush, thinking about how much he’s missed him these last ten days. He starts to run his tongue along that big beautiful vein that brings his love to life. 

Brian wasn’t really conscious of Justin’s hand fisting his hair, or even the arch of his back when he lifts himself off the bed to allow Brian better access. No, it was the moaning, and little noises Justin made as he got more and more excited. As he got closer, and closer to the edge.

But what really got Brian’s attention was when Justin raised and stretched his right leg, kicking one of those little monitors, sending it flying about ten feet across the room. Smashing it into a ten billion pieces, and bringing the storm troopers of nurses, techs and doctors banging on the locked door.

Brian sat up fast as he’s brought out of his sexual haze. He abandoned Justin’s cock just as he started to cum. It now shoots all over Brian’s face, just as the Head Nurse unlocks the door. Everyone’s just staring at each other when Justin says in a very low gravelly voice, “Could we please have some warm towels and a menu? I’m starving,” like it’s room service.

Brian’s POV

Then he looks at me and says, “You’re not wearing your tux.” I smile and say, “I’m sorry, Sunshine, I didn’t realize it was a formal affair.”

The tech runs to get some warm towels, the Head Nurse just looks at me in disgust, leaving the room. Dr. Fleming says, “I see you found an intervention that worked.” Then he smirks.

The door starts to open again, as I almost have Justin all cleaned up. I’m standing there shirtless, holding washcloths and looking guilty as hell. Jen says; “Oh my God, did something happen?” I say, “He just spilled his juicy, but I’ve got him all cleaned up now.”

Justin smirks, and Dr. Fleming shakes his head and says under his breath, “You’re really something else. I’ll be back in a little while and we’ll start doing some testing on Justin’s motor skills. Try not to make a mess in the meantime.”

Jennifer hands Brian all the food she picked up from the diner, and embraces Justin, crying. She’s so happy.

“Oh Justin, honey… I’m just so glad you’re ok… I was so worried…”

Justin slowly looks around the room, very confused. Everything looks so…

“Mom, why are you here? Why don’t we meet you at a restaurant or something? Are you on vacation with us?”

“Jen, he really just woke up… Why don’t you let me talk to him first and explain?”

“Yes, you’re right of course.”

“Jen, do me a favor and don’t tell the gang he’s awake yet. He needs time to adjust, plus he’s going to be put through all those tests again.”

“Yes, of course you’re right. I’ll check back in a few hours.”

I close the door and say, “Well Sleeping Beauty, I thought you’d never wake up,” as I lean over and kiss him.

“Brian, where are we? It seems familiar, yet just wrong… I’m surrounded by our things from home but the room feels so white… sterile... but still familiar.”

He seems to have noticed all the equipment stacked up and beeping next to the bed. It’s kind of like the sound equipment and speakers on the side of the stage at a concert.

Yep, now he’s noticed the tubes and wires; he can barely see them as the electrodes are connected to his head and move down his chest. Now I see the fear slowly coming across his face. I pull him closer and just hold him. I tell him over and over again, “I’m right here. Everything’s going to be okay”. Just like I have for the last ten days. I hope this time he can really hear me.

He catches his breath and asks, “Is something wrong with my brain?”

His voice is so small and scared. I tell him I hope not, but we’ll have to wait and see. Then I say that with a score of 1500 on his SATs he can stand to lose a little knowledge. Besides I might be into the dumb-blond type as I get older. We both chuckle at that one. It’s good to see him smile.

He looks up and his eyes focus on something across the room. I follow his gaze as he stares. I go over and pick up the small potted plant and bring it over to him. He takes the Golden Gardenias and holds them between us as we both lean forward, placing our foreheads together, letting the sweet orange-scented nectar engulf our senses. He’s happy, truly happy.

All the fear I saw in his eyes just moments ago seems to be gone. Although he does seem to be crying a little, as he says, “I kept hearing you telling me that you were right here, that you weren’t going anywhere. To just come back to you.”

“But it was like I couldn’t quite reach you, and then I couldn’t figure out why I left you. And then I couldn’t stop thinking about all the times I left you… So many times, but I just kept coming back.”

“Then I realized that I was that fish swimming around in circles and every once in a while I’d get caught in the whirlpool or find myself swimming against the current. It took me a long time to learn to just relax and float.”

I’m not sure what he’s talking about, but he’s smiling.

He says, “Brian I may not have always known that you loved me, but I always felt it. No, that’s not it. I may not have always remembered that you loved me but I’ve always felt it, and I now know it. I know that you’ll always be here for me, and that you would never run away from me, and hopefully never push me away. Because I’m not going.”

“That’s my boy… never stop fighting…”

TBC…


	3. Part 3 - Ten Minutes and Counting…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin is surprised by Brian’s effort to please him…

Ten…Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick…  
Title: Ten…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 2559  
Rating: NC17  
Beta Queen: bigj52

Story Summary: How much life can change in Ten Minutes, Ten Hours, Ten Days, and Ten Years…  
Story Sub-plot: Countdown to the Best Christmas Ever…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Chapter Summary: Justin is surprised by Brian’s effort to please him…

Part 3 - Ten Minutes and Counting…

Brian’s POV

“Justin, please open the door. You know Dr. Fleming said you can go home this afternoon.”

“Why? Did you blow him?”

“No, of course not. I told him you would. Now open the door.”

“Brian… I want my bandages back.”

“What? Why? Unlock the door.”

“It’s not locked.”

“Oh… So what’s the problem, princess?”

“I can’t go outside looking like this.”

“I think you look beautiful.”

“You’re delusional. I look like I just had a lobotomy.”

Of course he looks stupid, like a little kid that shaved the top of his head. Like a reverse Mohawk.

I just smile and he tells me to fuck off, then I suggest that maybe he should just shave his head again. Now he looks like he’s going to cry.

“No. Last time I did, you stopped being sexually attracted to me.”

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? That is the most ridiculous thing you have ever said. I have never stopped being attracted to you. I’m thinking Dr. Fleming needs to examine you again.”

He’s still pouting. “Okay. How about we both shave our heads?” At least he’s smiling.

“You’d do that? You’d shave your head just for me?”

I’m thinking to myself, ‘Oh God, I really don’t want to shave my head’. I smile and say, “Absolutely, Sunshine. Where’s the razor?”

He’s just looking at me with tears in his eyes again. I reach over and pull him into me, resting his head on my shoulder. I say; “You know I’d do anything for you don’t you?”

We hear someone come into the room and call for us. “Look, Sunshine, it’s our very own fag hag.”

Daphne smiles and holds up a bag in each hand. I had asked her to bring an electric razor knowing that this little drama was soon to play out. What I didn’t expect was the other bag.

Daphne smiles and says, “Would you like what’s behind Door Number One or Door Number Two?”

She holds up both bags. One’s very heavy and I already know what it holds, while the other is so lightweight it almost looks empty.

He’s no longer smiling; he knows what’s in one, maybe both bags.

He snarks, “Well, what is it? A pink wig?”

Daphne squeals and says, “No, but I love the idea.”

She throws the lightweight bag at Justin.

He’s still pouting as he slowly takes the old red baseball cap out of the bag. Tears again…

Daphne tells me it’s from his softball uniform from junior high, and then I notice that she has sewn golden locks of Justin’s hair under the brim, in the front and the back.

She explains that this way he can wear the hat backwards or forwards, depending upon his moods. And after a while, when his hair grows out he can cut his hair shorter and shaggy.

I frown slightly and say, “Not so much shaggy.”

But I love the hat. I’m so glad she thought of it. I know how much he doesn’t want to cut his hair. He’s smiling again and all’s well on the home front. We should be out of here in ten minutes.

I pull up out front of the hospital and get out to help him in and load up the few things we still had in his room. He’s looking at me with a questioning look in his eyes, and says, “Where’s the Vette?”

Now Daphne’s looking at me with a questioning look as well.

Here’s the thing. He only woke up three days ago but he is completely in control of his limbs. His hand and eye coordination was perfect, and he really wanted to come home for Christmas. So I put off some of the more graphic details of the accident.

I simply said that he was hit by a drunk driver. I never told him he was in the Vette. His car was in the shop; he bought some piece of shit old panel van that is always in the shop. I hate that thing but his paintings fit in it and he can haul paint and chemicals in it which is why I’m still letting him keep it. But only for hauling his precious treasures. My precious treasure will be driving a brand-new jeep and traveling in style.

They’re both still staring at me. I smile and say, “It went for a swim. So how do you like my new jeep?”

It’s black and shiny and of course, very nostalgic…

He’s stuttering as I reach him; he can hardly say it. “I, I, I was driving… I was driving the Vette… Oh my God, Oh my God…”

“No, no, no it’s okay. No more tears, Sunshine… After all it is Christmas Eve, Eve Day…”

God, I can’t believe he has me saying that. Ever since he woke up he’s wanted to go home, and Dr. Fleming said he had to stay a minimum of three days. So he’s been making me promise that he can go home on Christmas Eve, Eve Day…

I know how much he loves Christmas and of course, I never liked Christmas much. Before him… But it’s been growing on me over the years, just like my little twink, although I’ll never tell him.

He really wanted to get married on Christmas Eve, but then he decided on the 10th of December because, well, because he’s spoiled and wants to celebrate as much as possible throughout the month. (Anniversaries, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, and let’s not forget Valentine’s Day…) He actually starts planning his parties in October I think, or maybe he just has Emmett on retainer.

But I usually play the Grinch, because it’s expected of me. So as we step off the elevator and open the loft door he’s mesmerized by the ten-foot silver-tipped blue spruce that sitting in front of the windows. His jaw is actually hanging open.

I’ve let him put lights on the mirrors, and some candles out before but I always put my foot down when it came to a tree - all the loose needles, and tinsel trailing everywhere. Way too messy.

Justin’s POV

I’m standing in front of this huge Christmas tree in the loft. The loft. Oh my God, it’s the most beautiful tree I’ve ever seen. It smells so good. I’m almost feeling giddy. I can’t believe that he got us a Christmas tree. This is so out of character for him. My husband, the Grumpy Grinch. I wonder if he hit his head as well.

He comes up behind me and whispers in my ear, “Well I thought we’d avoid all the whining and tears about a tree this year,” as he puts his tongue firmly in his cheek and smiles at me. I just backhand him across the chest and lean into him. It’s snowing outside and the weather forecast calls for ten inches.

I don’t know exactly what’s going on with me, but ever since I woke up from my big sleep as Brian refers to it, it’s like all my senses are on overload. Colors seem brighter, smells seem stronger, sounds seem louder, and my emotions… oh my God, it’s like I start crying on cue. And my love… I feel such an intense deep emotional connection with him, almost like there’s electricity flowing between us. I wonder if he feels it too.

What I’m trying to say is that everything is so much more… I don’t know… Real… Like the world’s just come into focus much clearer. Like I’ve been living in a fog, only I didn’t even know it.

Every little thing brings forth all kinds of emotions and memories. Yes, that’s it. It’s all these tiny little details that make absolutely no difference to anyone but me. It’s all those little details that inspire my art, and trigger something deep inside of me.

It’s like ten years of grim has finally been wiped from my windows and I can finally see everything clearly. I feel happy and content. Maybe all that crazy restlessness I kept going through was just my memories trying to break through.

Because I do remember. I remember the look in his eyes as he spun me around that dance floor. And I remember the feel of that silk scarf running across my skin, and around my neck. Just thinking about it I can feel those sensations, and the little hairs on my neck stand up like they’re clapping that I finally remembered.  
purple prom

He’s looking at me funny and I realize that I have tears running down my face again; he reaches out and wipes them away. He smiles and says, “Is it just PMS or did you really have a sex-change operation while you were in the hospital?” I chuckle and backhand him again. I know I should tell him, but I’m already too emotional about every little thing. I’ll wait until I can talk about what I want for lunch without crying first.

Daphne says she has to go out and pick up a few things for dinner and she’ll be back. She’s always been such a good friend to me. I’m so lucky to have her as my best friend. I’m wondering why I haven’t heard from anyone else today. Usually you would have to beat my Mom and Deb back with a stick. I wonder what’s going on.

He’s still standing behind me with his arms around me. He starts walking me towards the bathroom as he says, “Let’s wash all those hospital smells off you, my dirty little boy.”

God, I love it when he calls me that. I’ve really missed his touch. It’s been like two weeks. Not that he hasn’t touched me these last couple of days, but after Nurse Ratched caught us the other day, we’ve been on the down low.

~~~~

Daphne’s POV

God, he looks so happy. It’s like he’s glowing. I can even feel the electricity flowing between them. Something’s changed in a good way, but I’m just not sure what. Dr. Fleming told us all that he would probably experience some mood swings, but that it would get better with time.

He’s hasn’t been functioning on all his senses for a long time. This second injury has reconnected some of his nerve endings, and electrical signals have been redirecting some of his sensory input. We should expect some changes in his perception, and he’ll be a little more emotional while learning to live with his new-found senses.

I slide into the booth at the diner next to Em, and he says, “Buzz cut or cap?”

“Cap.”

“Good choice, I know how much Brian loves his hair a little long. But he’ll never admit it.”

“Speaking of never admitting it. You won’t believe what I just saw at the loft.”

“Let’s see? A ten-foot tall silver-tipped blue spruce tree?”

Daphne’s jaw just drops and she says; “You made that happen?”

Emmett just starts clapping his hands and says, “I’m dating a lumberjack. A great big bear of a jack. I’m taking a walk on the wild side. Oh my God, he’s so big and burly. Who knew? And I just love being manhandled.”

“Yeah. that’s a big surprise,” Ted says as he sits down with his clipboard in hand.  
“Okay, we only have about ten million things we need to get done in the next ten minutes.”

“Now, where’s the seven dwarfs? Let’s go over the list.”

“Ah. Ted, there are eight of us.”

“Yes, I know but we couldn’t leave Snow White out. After all he is leader of the pack.”

“Now…”

“Emmett. You do your thing with cheese puffs and crab dip.”

“I’ll have you know that I have an elegant dinner planned for this evening, although I do have cheese puffs and crab dip as well.”

“Deb, you’re Em’s right-hand man. Keep him in line and on track. I also have you listed to set up the tables, chairs and china.”

“Michael, you’re our bartender tonight. Here’s a copy of the order from Liberty Party Store. Just make sure they deliver all the right bottles of wine with the correct vintage. Brian was very specific as to what he wanted, and try and be surprised if you end up with one of them as your Christmas present. He’s really trying this year.”

“Ben, you’re in charge of lights. Now Emmett ordered about ten thousand tiny white and blue lights, and a very tall ladder. Good luck, and yes, he’s fully insured. I checked the policy yesterday for personal injury and accidental death.”

“Ted, that’s just morbid.”

“Yes, but our little group doesn’t have the best track record.”

“Hunter, you’re to help Deb set up the tables and chairs as well, and maintain consumption control.” 

“What the fuck is consumption control? Oh, oh, no fucking way. I’m not on trash patrol.”

“Hunter, please. It’s going to be mostly wrapping paper, bows, and dirty napkins. Of course you’ll need to clear away any dirty dishes or empty glasses, wipe up any spills, etc… You know, just like the diner.” 

“Fine… Do I get tips?”

“Molly, kid patrol. You are to make sure that you know where they are at all times, and make sure nothing gets broken… No one’s crying or fighting… And no sticky messes. I’m not dealing with cranky Kinney… OK?”

“I just have one question. I’m only responsible for Gus and JR, right? The rest of you are all on your own?”

“Smart Ass.”

“Mel, Lindsay, I have you both on decorations, and gift wrapping. Cynthia started wrapping all of Justin’s presents but she ran out of time. It seems that Mr. Kinney has made up for the last ten years’ worth of ungiven gifts.”

Mel is in shock, and Lindsay is just smiling, happy that Brian is finally giving Justin what he really wants.

“Okay, so here’s the thing. I put all the wrapped presents in the loft early this morning. Then I put the rest in the new jeep and parked it in Brian’s private garage at Kinnetik, so you girls need to go pick up the jeep, wrap the presents and drive it to the loft.”

“Isn’t Brian picking Justin up in his new jeep?”

“Yes, he is, but this is Justin’s new jeep.”

Now everyone’s jaws have hit the ground.

“Okay, now let’s set our watches to eighteen hundred hours.”

Emmett mumbles, “What time is that? I don’t have a watch.”

“It doesn’t matter, Em.”

“Wait, wait. I don’t have any marching orders,” says Daphne.

“Daph… You’re our resident fag hag. You just have to hang out, make sure the music is playing, and fun is being had by all. Oh and of course, create a few distractions along the way as needed.”

“Now, I’d like to get this all set up by 3:30 or 4:00. Jen, Tucker, Carl, Blake, and is it actually Jack?”

Ted’s looking at Em. “Hum, oh yeah. Jackson, actually.”

“Great, and Jackson should be off work and at the loft between four and five. We’ll start with decorating the tree while having cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, followed by Emmett’s formal dinner, then opening of presents with pie and coffee. Then we leave the newlyweds alone… Well into the next year.”

“Okay, troops, let’s roll.”

TBC…


	4. Part 4 – Tick, Tick, Tick… Time’s Up…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian gives Justin a Christmas he’ll never forget…

Ten…Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick…  
Title: Ten…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3905  
Rating: NC17  
Beta Queen: bigj52

Story Summary: How much life can change in Ten Minutes, Ten Hours, Ten Days, and Ten Years…  
Story Sub-plot: Countdown to the Best Christmas Ever…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Chapter Summary: Brian gives Justin a Christmas he’ll never forget…

 

Part 4 – Tick, Tick, Tick… Time’s Up…

Brian’s POV

The water feels so good as it beats on my back and flows over our bodies. I missed holding him like this under the water’s mist, missed soaping him up and running my slippery hands up and down his body. I’ve missed this connection that seems to be so strong between us. We don’t even need words. It just is. It’s just us.

Justin finally breaks the silence, saying we should hurry. “She’s going to be back in ten minutes.”

I smile as I spread his big round globes and lower myself to my knees until I’m level with his beautiful pink rosebud. Then I push him into the wall and take him with my long wet tongue, teasing him as I lick and dip my tongue in and out to make him squirm.

I haven’t shaved yet today. I hate the lighting in the hospital bathroom. So my beard is just rough enough to contrast with the warmth and wetness of my tongue across his sweet bubble butt. He’s impatient; he feels like he’s been waiting for an eternity. Of course I enjoy teasing him and making him beg. But then I remember he’s still on sensory overload. I don’t want to make him cry, at least not on purpose.

I decide that I’d rather continue this laying down in our big soft bed; it’s been so long since we shared it. So I swivel my tongue around several times and proceed to run it up his back all the way to this neck as I stand. Kind of like a reverse rimming. I cover his neck and shoulders with kisses as I make sure he’s all rinsed off. His eyes are becoming more dilated to a very intense violet-blue. This is what he needs, this is what we both need. I wrap him in a big fluffy red towel and carry him into the bedroom. He truly is the most beautiful person I have ever seen.

Justin’s POV

It’s like I’m floating in a whole different way, maybe it’s the meds. But I’m pretty sure it’s just endorphins or pheromones or whatever the fuck it is that pumps through your brain, making you feel bonded to another in a way that you’re sure no one else has ever experienced. I sometimes still feel like I have to pinch myself to believe that I’m actually married to this man.

Oh my God! His touch is sending so many intense sensations through me, it’s like I can feel it in my soul. Oh God, he’s tickling me. He’s giving me sucky kisses on the back of my knees. I don’t even know what that part of the body is called, but it’s sending the most incredible trembling feeling up my thighs. I’m laughing and wiggling and I’m not sure but I would guess that I’m also crying.

“Brian, stop. I can’t take it anymore.”

“Brian…”

“Don’t stop…”

Now he’s climbing up my back and pulling me up on to all fours. I love the way his body feels covering mine, holding me so close, claiming me. He nuzzles his head to my neck and whispers in my ear, “Tell me what you miss the most?”

I’m truly on sensory overload and can’t think straight. I can barely speak. I just whisper, “Everything. You… I need you inside of me…”

The first time we went raw was on our wedding night, and it was the most amazing experience I have ever had. We waited nine years to be everything to each other. To make that commitment to each other - I don’t think we had any idea how much closer and deeper that would make our vows feel. I’m a little sad that I missed our anniversary, but I’ve found so many lost memories I am just riding the waves of emotions reclaimed.

I push back into Brian to let him know I need him now. His erection feels so big lying across my cheeks as he’s still kissing and sucking my neck. I think we’re both lost in the pleasure of holding and touching each another, like horny teenagers. He reaches for the lube but I tell him I don’t think I need it. He just looks at me and says, “I don’t want to hurt you. It’s been a while.”

But I just nod, and he slides down my back and runs his hands around my plump ass, kissing the small of my back as he slides one finger in to stretch me for him. I’m tight, but I’m also very wet, because I’m so very excited. I feel him slip another finger in and truly start stretching me and scissoring me. I can’t help but start rocking on his hand and moaning.

Brian just chuckles and says, “Hold on, Sunshine. I’m right here,” as I feel him enter me. Oh God, he feels so good.

“Yes, yes, yes, I need this so bad. Brian, more…”

“God, Sunshine. You really are a little whore now, aren’t you?”

“Oh God, Brian. Just fuck me. Fuck me so hard. Oh God, I need you…”

That’s all he needed to hear because now he’s sliding in and out of me with abandon. And I feel like I’m gliding and spinning like a princess on ice. Every time he slips back out, he drags his head across my prostate creating waves, pulsating through me and very time he slips back in, he slams back into my prostate head on, making me quake with pleasure I didn’t know existed.

I’m sure I’m crying now. I know I’m making high-pitched squealing noises like a little girl and really don’t even give a fuck. I’m so close, when I hear him say, “Come for me, Sunshine. Give yourself to me completely.”

He reaches around and takes a hold of my cock, pumping it in the same frenzied rhythm as his thrusts. That’s all it took for me to fall over the edge into oblivion. I feel him follow right behind me, then collapse on top of me. We lay there in total bliss as we catch our breath, just looking into each other’s eyes. I can’t believe I made such a big deal about this five years ago. I must have brain damage. Why in the world would I not want to cuddle with my husband?

I guess we fell asleep because we wake to Michael shouting, “Don’t you two ever get enough?” One, two three… “Michael, there is no such thing as enough,” says Brian as he climbs out of bed. He bends over, kisses me and tells me to rest if I want for a while.

~~~~

I wake to Brian breathing a little erratically as he’s pacing next to the bed. I look at him and ask what’s wrong. He’s surprised I’m awake. He apologizes and says it’s nothing. I ask again. I can now hear that there are other people here and something is stressing him out pretty badly.

“Tell me.”

He says, “It… It’s…”

He just shakes his head, and then he finally says, “They’re all miss-matchy.”

I’m trying to figure out what that means.

Then I hear Em call from the living room, “If there’s one you don’t like we don’t have to use it.”

I reach out and pull him towards me, and whisper in his ear; “You don’t have to do miss-matchy.”

Em should know that Brian is a fashion snob and has dressing down to an art. So whatever it is that Em is dressing, it will have to meet the Kinney code of cool.

Brian helps me get dressed. He’s set out a pair of my comfortable jeans that are very light blue and a long-sleeved black t-shirt. Then he hands me what is the first of my many presents with a little smirk. I just look at him and say, “Did you have brain surgery too?”

Because the loft seems to be filling up with more and more presents every time I look up. He just says, “I… I just want you to have everything you need.”

I tell him I already do.

“Yeah, well you were asleep for a long time and I was bored watching porn all day, so I distracted myself with buying you presents online. Just making up for lost time.”

God, he’s so sweet when he’s not being a snarky bastard.

He tells me to open my gift. So I unwrap the box and find a sand colored suede vest from Prada, and it looks great with the black t-shirt and jeans. I hear the others, and start to get up when I see Brian handing me my cap. I decide to wear it backwards, it’s party time.

When we get to living room I already know what Brian’s little queen-out is all about. I pull Emmett to the side and tell him how much I appreciate him convincing Brian to get a tree, and how much I love it. That the lights Ben is putting up look great.

But this is a very big step for Brian, probably as big as he can take. It will probably be several years before the concept of ornaments is something Brian could consider, and even then they would all have to be all identical and from Tiffany’s. Em has to understand it’s a slow process. First, candles, then lights on the mirrors, now a tree with lights. Yep, we’re making progress, but absolutely no tinsel. Ever…

I smile up at Brian and ta da. All the ornaments have been boxed up and removed from sight, no more queen-out for my Grinch today.

The tree looks beautiful, sparkling with so many tiny white and blue lights. Emmett has carried the blue and white theme throughout his decorations that are now adorning the loft, from candles on the window sill and down the center of a very long dining table that is set up on the far wall near the windows. The table settings consist of blue, white and clear dishes and crystal wine glasses.

Michael asks me if I would like something to drink. Eggnog with brandy, champagne, chardonnay, liquor? Brian shakes his head and says, “How about a nice cup of that green tea you like so much? I think Lindsay and your Mom already have a teapot made.”

Brian says to Michael, “Are you crazy? Alcohol? He has a closed head injury.”

The loft smells great. It’s a cross between fresh pine and vanilla from the candles burning, mixed with the food aromas from the spread Em has made for us. All my favorite things; French bread with roasted garlic, crab dip, shrimp cocktail, all kinds of cheese, a variety of olives, spot stickers, Thai lettuce wraps, as well as the standard chip and veggies with various dips and fine chocolates.

My taste buds are on sensory overload, just like everything else I’m feeling, and the chocolate truffle that’s slowly melting in my mouth is bringing me close to climax again. God, I love chocolate. Brian leans in and kisses me as he says, “Should I be jealous of that Godiva chocolate you’re sucking on, because your eyes look like you’re about to cum.”

I reach up and backhand him across the chest and tell him to be good.

Dinner is very elegant. We start with seafood bisque that is so rich, my eyes are doing that thing again which makes Brian smirk, followed by a Caésar salad. For the main course we have surf and turf, meaning filet mignon and whole lobsters, with sides of asparagus, redskin potatoes, and garlic bread. I’m in heaven, and the kids have their own version with mini-hamburgers, fish sticks and French fries.

I look around at my little family gathered together and realize that this is probably the happiest I’ve ever been. Okay well, maybe not the happiest. My wedding night was pretty great and then there was the night I proposed to Brian. I knew he would never ask me again, too much fear of rejection or something. Wow, I think I’m the luckiest man alive right now.

We’re all lying around like beached whales as our dinner digests. I’m looking at Jackson, thinking this guy is really hot for a two hundred and fifty pound man, he’s almost all muscle in his thighs and biceps. I bet he is one big bear of a jack. I notice that my husband is nowhere in sight and has been missing for a little while now. I assume that he’s outside smoking pot. Now that Gus is ten and JR is six he tries to keep his bad habits private, or as private as Brian can be having been made Bad Boy of the Year for the last twenty years.

I sneak downstairs and search him out, but what I find shocks me more than anything I’ve ever seen. My husband is sitting on the floor next to the dumpster in the underground parking lot. He’s crying, hold a tiny white fluffy kitten wearing a Santa suit.

I’m not sure which part disturbs me the most. I’ve only seen him cry once and that was when we took our vows, we both had tears running down our cheeks and we could barely get the words out. That was the sweetest thing I think I’ve ever seen, until maybe now.

I kneel down and wipe his tears away. He says in a very low voice, “I came down to get the presents and I heard him crying. He sounded just like you when you get all squealy.” He explains that the kitten was trapped inside a filthy old bucket of fried chicken and placed inside the dumpster to die.

“How could someone do this to something so small and innocent?”

I just wrap my arms around him and hold him, no one would believe me if I told them. I look up and notice a brand-new red jeep parked next to Brian’s new black jeep, in my parking space. I’m thinking the neighbors must have used our space until I notice the license plate: Taken. A play on his plate: Tay-Kin. He smiles at me and says, “Happy Anniversary!” Yep my tears are back again, we’re both a sight to be seen. It’s a good thing neither one of us wears mascara, or we would really be a mess.

We sit in my new jeep smoking a joint, playing with Jasper, the kitten. I’m pretty sure we just adopted our first child, he’s covered in chicken grease and is the sweetest little thing I’ve ever seen. Brian says in a very low voice, “I was never allowed to have a pet as a child.” As he asks me with his eyes if we can keep him. More tears…

~~~~

Brian’s POV

I try and look as dignified as one can wearing a Santa suit and carrying a big red bag of presents. Justin is carrying Jasper and cooing at him. I know I’m not the only one who fell completely in love with that little fur ball.

All eyes are fixed on us as we enter the loft. JR jumps up and cries, “Santa” as she runs towards us. I’m sure she thinks I’m actually Santa so I play along and pass out gifts.

“Let’s see, I have something in here for a little girl,” I say as I hand her the new Dyke-Barbie complete with leather jacket, motorcycle and full-on service station, tools and gas pumps.

Gus is thrilled with his new laptop as well as the new video game system.

Molly is already dancing and swaying to pop tunes playing in her ears from the Ipod she’s wearing. She reminds me of her brother dancing around in my black shirt, and singing to Moby once upon a time.

I found one of those 1950’s silver Christmas trees for Deb; she’s been telling stories about her childhood and how much she wishes her mom had kept theirs from her childhood. She’s all smiles.

Carl was a hard one. I had no idea what a straight middle-aged man would want for Christmas. So I settled on a bottle of Balvenie Rumcask seventeen-year-old single malt scotch. He’s all smiles as well. I think he knows it sells for over a hundred dollars a bottle. But what the hell? He is the closest thing I have to a father, next to Vic of course, God bless his soul.

For Michael I found what was the first gay doll ever made back in 1977. It’s from Europe called “Gay Bob.” This should be a real collector’s item for his toy chest.

For Ben I found a signed first edition of Oscar Wilde’s “Dorian Gray” with a leather binding. Also a collector’s item, more smiles. I think he’s actually in shock but he shouldn’t be. We’ve grown very close over the years and he’s was a great support for me, especially when Justin was in New York.

For Emmy Lou I found an original Barbie dream house complete with furniture and Barbiemobile. Although I’m pretty sure he’s going to have to wrestle it away from JR. She seems to be under the impression that all things Barbie belong to her, including Uncle Bob.

Ted, Blake, Mel and Linds have become quite close, hanging out together regularly so I gave them all a weekend getaway to New York to see that new play “Pop” about Andy Warhol, starring Randy Harrison. He’s from ‘Gay as Blazes’. The four of them are obsessed with that show, even though it’s been off the air forever now. I think maybe Blake and Lindsay are both fanfic writers, but they’ll never admit it.

For Hunter I decided on an electric guitar. I heard him playing down at the Gay and Lesbian Center one night and he’s really pretty good. But I can tell by the looks on Ben and Michael’s faces they don’t appreciate his playing skills as much as I do. Parenthood’s a bitch.

For Jennifer I decided on a soft-brown suede leather jacket by “Kenneth Cole.” She looks great in it.

And I gave Tucker a leather satchel for carrying all the homework and papers he needs to grade for his students.

I don’t really know Jackson very well, but Michael said he likes to go wine tasting with Em. So I gave him several bottles of wine: merlot, chardonnay and champagne for his wine cellar.

Last but not least is our favorite girl, Daphne. This girl has saved my ass so many times it’s not even funny. I’ve already started college funds for her kids even though she isn’t even seeing anyone seriously. I can’t wait to be an uncle, but will keep that little secret to ourselves. I gave her a pair of diamond earrings, and now she’s crying just like Justin.

I think he’s in shock that I really played Santa to our little family this year. I usually leave this sort of thing to him. But he wasn’t available these last two weeks and I didn’t know what he had planned. So I just winged it and it seems that I did okay my first time out. Well I didn’t really go shopping, it was all done with the magic of the internet. I may never actually have to step foot in a mall again. Note to self, invest in internet stock.

Justin looks so happy as he leans into me and whispers, “This is the best Christmas ever.” I had no idea that playing Santa and making him happy would make me feel so good. He’s been feeding Jasper pate and shrimp cocktail so it’s no wonder that Jasper is all charged up and running around the loft like a wild animal. When JR wasn’t looking he stole one of her beanie babies that is shaped like a tiny teddy bear. All white just like him, and almost as big. I can’t believe that little fur ball is making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I really am turning into a lesbian these days.

When I wasn’t looking, Ted and Blake snuck out and went to a small grocery store on Liberty Avenue. They returned with a small bag full of reinforcements for Jasper including bowls with little fish swimming around the sides. I’m sure Justin will like them; he seems to have developed an obsession with fish recently. I’m not sure what that’s about. Kitten food, kitten treats, kitty milk? What the fuck? Kitten toys, more kitten toys and of course the most important item required for all cat owners, the dreaded litter box. Good thinking, boys. I kind of dropped the ball on that one.

I look up at Hunter and he tells me not to worry, he’s on it. Then he thanks me again for the guitar and tells me he could stop by daily to clean up, because there’s this new sound board and he could use amps and… I just smile and tell him it sounds great. The last thing I want to do is clean that thing. I wonder if he can just train him to go outside like a dog. Fuck. Jasper is just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, except my Sunshine of course. Then I look at Hunter and threaten him with his life if he ever tells anyone I have a kitten.

I hear the coffee pot gurgling in the background and look up to see Justin in full tears again. I know Dr. Fleming said it would take a while for his emotions to level out, but I can’t help being concerned. Maybe he needs an IV; he could get dehydrated at some point. I go over to him and wrap my arms around him; he looks up at me and motions to the counter. It’s a pumpkin cheesecake just like the top layer of our wedding cake. It makes me happy that Em remembered that. I guess there’s some tradition that you freeze the top layer of your wedding cake and serve it on your first anniversary.

Well… That didn’t quite work out. I came home from work early a few months after we were married, to find him in bed with Daphne. After they raided my stash, they proceeded to devour the cheesecake. He apologized profusely when caught looking very guilty. God, he’s so fucking adorable sometimes.

Deb comes over to me tell me how proud she is of me. There was a time when the idea of being a married man and having a Christmas dinner would have sent me running to the sanitarium. Yep I’m a fully-fledged dyke now, complete with pussy. Justin just backhands me, and I think to myself ‘yeah, I did do well, didn’t I?’ And I didn’t even have a heart attack or anything. I might just survive, with a little help from my friends…

~~~~

Justin’s POV

It’s quiet in the loft now with everyone gone. I can’t believe that they stayed and cleaned up everything before they all left. I really do have the best family ever, even if we are all freaks.

I look around and see both boys who have stolen my heart… Mr. Frisky seems to have passed out with teddy in tow, while my other Mr. Frisky seems to be slipping out of his soft red suit.

TBC...


	5. Part 5 - Epilogue: Reflections of Ten Days of Darkness, and Years of Waiting…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin gains insight into how deep his husband’s feeling for him go…

Ten…Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick…  
Title: Ten…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 2269  
Rating: NC17  
Beta Queen: bigj52

Story Summary: How much life can change in Ten Minutes, Ten Hours, Ten Days, and Ten Years…  
Story Sub-plot: Countdown to the Best Christmas Ever…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Chapter Summary: Justin gains insight into how deep his husband’s feeling for him go…

Part 5 - Epilogue: Reflections of Ten Days of Darkness, and Years of Waiting…

Justin’s walking towards the bathroom when he kicks a box they brought home from the hospital and finds Brian’s journal.

Brian finally finds a way to put his feelings into words, but it’s not all happy talk.

**Day 1: Ten things I never told him…**

He’s the single most important person in my life.

I loved having my own personal stalker.

I loved how persistent and determined he was.

I loved that he could read me unlike anyone I’ve ever met.

I love how innocent he was that first night.

I love that he was strong enough to stand up to his dad.

I love that he didn’t put up with all my shit, that he called me on it, and often.

I love that no matter how much I pushed him away, he always came back.

I love the way he smells, from the mango and kiwi shampoo, to the coconut lotion, mixed with a little pot and the smell of our sex still clinging to him.

I love that he can still be hungry after coming from dinner at Deb’s and proceed to eat a carton of Ben and Jerry’s without gaining an ounce

**Day 2: Ten things I never told Him, but I think he knows…**

I’ve loved him from the first time I saw him under that streetlight.

I was so proud of him when he was accepted at Dartmouth and Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts.

He’s the smartest person I know.

I missed him desperately when he was in Los Angeles.

I was so jealous when he won the King of Babylon contest.

I dreamed of taking him raw, almost as much as he dreamed of me taking him raw.

I lied about the fact that if I moved to New York that I wouldn’t miss him, wouldn’t remember him, that I didn’t love him.

I pushed him away because I didn’t believe that he could really love me… Me… Not the Stud of Liberty Avenue.

I’d do anything for him, be anything for him, just to prove to him that I love him.

I die a little inside each time he leaves me.

**Day 3: Ten things that I never told him, that he should have already known…**

I fell in love with him that very first night.

I pushed him away, even though I never really wanted him to go.

A part of me died when Jennifer asked me to leave and never see him again.

All my rules and mantras were bullshit.

I was really just a scared little boy who was desperate for love.

No matter what happens between us that I’ll always be there for him…

I got jealous when I saw him with other guys.

I was scared to death that he would get himself killed when he was out with Cody and the Pink Posse.

A part of me died that night I watching him leave the Rage party with Ian.

I’ll never stop loving him.

**Day 4: Ten things that I never told him, that I should have …**

He’s the only man I have ever loved, always has been, always will be.

When he was gone, I always called out his name as I came with other tricks.

The reason that I canceled our trip to Vermont was that I had to prove myself to Gardner Vance or lose my job.

I should have warned him about the type of man Sap was.

When he was with Ian I hired a professional who looked like him, that I paid to dress like him….That I couldn’t get hard until I was dead drunk and thought it was him.

It broke my heart when he said, “Thanks for asking but the answer is no.”

I never wanted to cancel our wedding.

I wanted him to ask me to go to New York with him, but he never did.

I’m still scared that I’m going to fuck this up and he’ll leave me and never come back.

I never sold Britin and I’ve never gone back there after he left for New York. It’s still just sitting there now empty, after five years.

**Day 5: Ten things that I told him, that I regret…**

I don’t believe in love.

He’s nothing to me; he’s not my friend, not my lover, that’s he’s nothing to me.

I wouldn’t miss him, or I wouldn’t remember his name.

Love is just something straight people tell themselves so they can get laid.

He should check back with me in an hour and see if I found someone better than him, or not. God, I was such a bastard.

I wouldn’t go to his prom with him, that I didn’t want to be with a bunch of fucking eighteen year olds.

I didn’t believe in celebrating birthdays or anniversaries, only accomplishments.

He needed to go to New York to become the next Picasso.

Why didn’t I believe in him enough and tell him he was great just the way he was - here with me.

If I don’t see him again for a week, or a month, or a year, or never again, that it’s only time. What a load of shit.

Marriage was an imitation heterosexual union that by its very nature is doomed to fail.

**Day 6: Ten things that I told myself that I regret…**

I don’t need anyone.

I don’t believe in love, I only believe in fucking.

I’m not in love with him.

It’s only time.

He’s better off without me.

He’s only going to leave me anyways, so it might as well be now.

I didn’t deserve to be loved by someone like him.

He wasn’t coming home from Los Angeles, he wasn’t coming home to me.

He was never coming back from New York, he was never coming back to me.

I could never be what he needed me to be.

**Day 7: Ten things that I would change if I could…**

I would have prevented Chris Hobbs from attacking him.

I would have bought him those damn red roses the night of his birthday instead of putting them back.

I would have accepted his invitation to the prom proudly and protected him, instead of pushing him away.

I wish I hadn’t put him in danger of getting an STD.

I would have told Michael and everyone else that he was my boyfriend. I should have stood up for him and not let Michael put him down all the time in the beginning.

I would have gone after him when he left me for Ian.

I wish I would have visited him in California when he was working on Rage.

I would have told him about my cancer, and asked him to come with me when I had surgery.

I would have told him that I loved him, that I would go on loving him even after he was gone. Because I did, I always will.

I would have married him instead of letting him leave me, again.

**Day 8: Ten things that I miss the most when he’s not here…**

Finding his wet towels and dirty clothes on the bathroom floor.

Picking up all his dirty dishes from around the loft.

Complaining about him eating cookies and chips in bed.

All the wonderful smells, flavors, and tastes he creates for me in the kitchen.

Finding sketches of me he’s drawn on large sketch pads right down to tiny pieces of scrap paper.

Waking up with him sleeping with his head on my chest, drooling.

Coming home and finding him painting, completely oblivious to all the paint spatters on our beautiful hardwood floors.

Waking up with his mouth wrapped around my big beautiful cock.

All the little squeaks, squeals, moans and sucky noises he makes when we have sex.

HIM… all of him, his deep blue eyes, his big bright smile, the way his breath catches when he starts to get excited. The way he throws himself into my arms when I come home from work, but most of all just knowing that he still loves me. Hopefully.

**Day 9: Ten things I want him to know about me…**

He’s the only one I want to share my life with.

He knows me better than anyone, better than I know myself.

I need him, even if I don’t show it.

I’m trying, even if it doesn’t seem like it.

I think of him first, even if I don’t say so.

I worry about him, but I’ll never tell him.

I need him to need me, but I’m sure he doesn’t.

I want him to want me, but I don’t deserve him.

Every day I pray that he’ll stay one more day.

If you die on me you little twat, don’t you know I’ll just follow. I’m so fucking sick of you leaving me.

**Day 10: Ten things I’m feeling – When I’m feeling down…**

Where would I be if I never met him under that streetlight.

Somehow, it is my entirely fault that this is happening.

I’ve never been there for him when he needs me.

He’s better off without me.

He deserves someone so much better than me.

I’m so scared I’m losing him.

What if he wakes up and doesn’t remember me.

What if he wakes up and does, and just doesn’t want me.

What if he never wakes up.

What if I just slit my wrists… Would that be Ridiculously Romantic?

~~~~

Justin’s POV

I’m sitting in the middle of the bathroom floor wearing only a Santa cap, shaking and crying while I read Brian’s journal. I started keeping a journal when I went to L.A. I was so lonely and it was a way for me to reflect on my feelings and ground me in my future. I always encouraged Brian to keep one as well but he never did. I guess that’s why I was so surprised when I found his. I know I shouldn’t have read it; I’d die if he read mine. Of course he would never do that, unlike me who didn’t think twice about invading my husband’s private thoughts.

I’m so surprised, and freaked out by some of his entries or declarations of love for me, and scared by others. But I should have expected that. After all my husband’s the most honest person I know, except with himself.

There’s so much he never told me, so many things he never said. I’ve hurt him so badly, I should have known. I should have seen it in his eyes. I used to be on to him, but I lost that for a while. It’s funny because he’s the strongest person I know, and he’s also the most insecure person I know.

I can’t believe how much time I wasted running to and from him. I can’t believe that he never wanted to call off the wedding, that just sends chills down my spine. And Britin’s just been sitting empty, for five years… And he just waited for me, to find my way back home again.

I’m crying again when I see the door open and he sticks his head in. He’s so worried about me. He sees the leather-bound journal but doesn’t say anything. He reaches down with his hand and helps me up. Once I’m in his arms I simply say, “I can’t believe that you never sold it.”

He just says, “It wasn’t mine to sell. I bought it for you, a palace for my prince…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You never asked, you never mentioned it again. And I don’t do well with romantic gestures. They always fall flat.”

I say, “That’s not true, as I nod towards the most beautiful Christmas tree I’ve ever seen.”

It’s early, about five o’clock in the morning. It’s Christmas morning. He has so many gifts of all sizes and shapes overflowing from every corner of the loft, it seems. But the greatest gift is the one I stole a glance of between the leather covers of his journal. If it takes me the rest of my life I’m going to make it up to him. I’m going to erase any doubt and insecurities he has about me, us… I’m on to him… Again…

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

****

Ten Weeks Later…

****

Brian’s POV

I come home from work and there’s a tux hanging on the closet door, and my heart skips a beat. I look up and see him sitting at the computer and I ask, “What is this for?”

He simply smiles and says, “You’ll need something to wear when they honor you at that dinner Friday night, or were you planning on going with your other boyfriend?”

I smile, and say. “I didn’t know you knew about that?”

He says. “Well I wouldn’t expect that Mrs. Remsen called and wanted to know if you were wearing a tux or not? She was so excited about the dinner. She thinks that this is a great opportunity for giving back to the community as well as promoting Remsen Pharmaceuticals and Kinnetik.

He just looks at me and says, “You’re building a “Closed Head Injury Unit” at Allegheny General?”

I try and tell him it’s not that big of a deal. It’s a great tax write-off… And well, there’s so many twinks falling down and bumping theirs heads. I just thought I'd give them a soft place to land.

He’s already launched himself into my arms, kissing me all over my face, neck and chest as he tells me, “You really are fucking amazing….”

“Yes, I am.”

~The End~


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